This is a personal entry, and I have a feeling this will be Part 1 of a series of reflections on this topic. On June 12, 2016, I will officially walk across that stage with a diploma in my hand, only to be drop-kicked into the real world. This year has been incredibly bittersweet.
I am quite possibly the most nostalgic person alive, and my life is a constant battle to forget various tidbits from my past. I’ve made a lot of progress in terms of personal growth over the past year, and I’ve lost and gained more than I would have thought possible.
I’m starting to realize how little the things I once lost my head over actually matter in the big picture. My new motto for the remainder of the school year is “will this matter after graduation?” Personal drama I was losing my head over a month ago will be meaningless once I kiss the University of Oregon goodbye. That idea is both comforting and sad, because it means coping with change- a skill I’ve never had. I’m what is best explained as an “emotional pack rat.” I still keep texts from people I haven’t spoken to in seven months. I agonize for weeks over switching my desktop background. I can give you a detailed list of every heartbreak I’ve ever had, right down to when my fourth-grade crush didn’t notice my stylin’ new bell bottom jeans. It’s been a liberation as well as a struggle accepting the fact that in the grand scheme of things, most of the interpersonal drama I’ve gone through in college won’t matter after graduation.
All the ex-lovers who’ve texted me in the middle of the night? They won’t matter.
Boys who I’ve cried over? They won’t matter.
Girls I can’t stand? They won’t matter.
All the rules and regulations of my sorority? They won’t matter.
It’s all about perspective.
Do I have regrets? Maybe a few. I don’t regret letting people into my life who ended up hurting me, because they were lessons learned. However, I do regret people I may have hurt, or who I never made things right with. One thing I certainly regret is that it took me so long to get serious about health and personal fitness- I still cringe thinking about all the frozen food I consumed my sophomore year.
In any case, I’m eager to see what the final two months of college will bring.
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