Hey all, time for me to do that thing where I give life updates like I’m a famous blogger with a rabid audience, instead of a mediocre 24-year-old with approximately two readers!
[No one cares, Quinn, you are talking to NO ONE]
Haven’t written much lately. I’ve been languishing over my lack of inspiration for awhile, and I suspect it has something to do with the fact that most of my drive to write revolves around coping. I’ve used this blog many, many times, as a coping mechanism for my depression, personal life issues, and identity crises. Something about writing all those things down and baring my bruised soul to the world set me free.
The problem is… I’ve been kind of thriving the past few weeks. I’m doing better than I ever have. It feels incredibly bizarre to say it, because I’m terrified to jinx it, but the month of August has been pretty good to me. I live in fear that this is all some practical joke, like things can’t really be this good for me… right?
It’s been a summer of transformations, to say the least.
Outside Lands music festival in San Francisco is somewhat of a summer tradition. I’m from the Bay Area and my parents still live there, so I made my annual August pilgrimage back to my Silicon Valley hometown. San Carlos is about 35 minutes south of San Francisco, so for all three days, we’d wake up, get ready, and make the drive to the fog-shrouded city. I was apprehensive about going this year because none of my friends were, but I had an awesome time with my mom and sister. I also got to hang out with my 19-year-old neighbor, who I’m pretty sure I used to babysit, so that was hilarious. Seeing Florence + The Machine was nothing short of a religious experience.
SCOUTED BY IMG MODELS
Your girl’s still got it! While at Outside Lands, I was approached by a scout from IMG Models. He gave me his card and told me that he’d like to have IMG take a look at me. IMG is HUGE, so I was stoked. I’ve been scouted before and I’ve been through the modeling agency ring before, so my hopes are not high, but it’s still a nice ego boost. I’ve been out of the modeling game for a couple years now, and it feels good to know that hey, ya girl’s still got it.
SAN DIEGO (+ THE BOY)
Without giving too much away, I reunited with a delightful human you could say I kind of like. There’s a fun bit of history here: We share a mutual family friend, so we met once or twice as children. In June 2011, we met again as teens- and it was crush at first sight. We enjoyed an ongoing flirtation and mutual feelings throughout summer 2011, but then he went off to college, I was still in high school, blah blah blah, nothing really happened. We spent the next 7 years living our own lives, keeping vaguely in touch over social media, before reuniting late last month. Our excursions include an awesome weekend in San Diego, getting emotional over Pixar movies, and being shouted at by mango salesmen.
ONE YEAR AT MY JOB
I don’t talk much about my day job on this blog, but I have been at my current position for exactly one year. This is the longest I’ve held a job in the 2 years since I graduated college, and feels like an adult milestone of sorts. Unfortunately, it also comes with a sense of dread: what now? How long do I stay? How do I figure out what I want? HELP.
TAKING A BREAK FROM THERAPY
After lots of careful reflection, I’ve decided that after 18 months, I’m going to take a break from weekly therapy sessions. It’s helped me tremendously, and I know that mental illness doesn’t “go away,” but I’ve made a lot of progress. I have done a complete 180 from the rock bottom I hit last year that led me to it, and I need to see how I handle things on my own for awhile. I’ll probably go back eventually, but for now, I’m letting myself take the reins.
I feel as though I’m finally on track to becoming the person I always wanted to be.